I have sooooo many things in my life that I need to change. I don't know if it's just me but changing myself is such a difficult process. There are things in my life that I struggle with. Some things are easier to overcome and some things, it just seems impossible for me to overcome. I've prayed for days, weeks and years but nothing seemed to help me overcome my weakness. I have asked many people for help and the answer that I got from them was simply that I don't try hard enough. I was very discouraged and I just wanted to give up everything. I thought about the atonement of Christ and how it could help me overcome my trial.
Every morning I wake up, I try to think about how I can improve today, what I
need to change to become a better person then at night I lay on my bed
thinking that another day has been slipped out of my eternal scheme of
progression.
Today was just like any other Sundays. I woke up in the morning and started reading my book. I don't know why, but for some reason I picked out this book that I haven't read for a long time. In that book, there was a book mark with this quote from President Uchtdorf's talk "Forget Me Not" and when I read the quote, I suddenly thought 'hmm maybe I should listen to that talk again' and played a short version on youtube. The talk as I remember was about the things I need to remember and do. But in that short 5 minute clip version, he talked about how we all have different and unique weaknesses and trials and that it's okay to have weaknesses because right now is not the time to be perfect but time to practice towards perfection. We shouldn't look at other people to compare ourselves to them. Our little efforts may seem insignificant to us and even to others, but our father in Heaven notices them. Is that not enough? This talk also reminded me of the conversation between Hazel and Augustus in the book "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green. Augustus's fear was oblivion, scared that he is going to die without being able to fulfill his wishes, which was to become a special hero in the world and to be in all over the newspapers. Hazel, his love of life, tells him "You say you're not special because the world doesn't know about you, but that's an insult to me. I know about you. I think you're special is that not enough?" I think that's how a lot of us feel too. We often get discouraged in one way or another, when we feel insignificant in this world. But we need to remember that the person who is, or should be the most important to us loves us so much and we are very very special to him and like Hazel said, "is that not enough?". I think that might be what Heavenly Father is trying to tell us everytime we get discouraged. "You think you're not special but you are special to me. I am the most powerful being in the universe and I love you with an infinite love, is that not enough?"
"Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow...never forget that you are truly precious daughters in God’s kingdom."
Christ can help us overcome ANY weaknesses, fears and pains we face. Not so much that he will always change your situations but as our faith in his Atonement grow stronger, we learn to lean on him when we need to. We learn to forgive others and ourselves. We let go of the things that don't really matter in this world and focus on the things that really matter - the salvation.
